Preface: Days 4 & 5 were sheer HELL! Thursday started off okay, but then the "healing crisis" hit with full force! My neck, back, and shoulders ached and I had a headache that started behind my eyeballs and went all the way to the base of my neck! It was torture! I wanted to die. I spent all of Thursday and Friday in bed, getting up only to fix my drinks and go to the bathroom. Here's how it went:
Day 4: Thursday, January 7, 2009
I woke up to another 1.4 pound loss since yesterday. This makes for a grand total of 9.2 pounds from just 3 days of detoxing! AND - the exciting news is that this is the lowest weight I've been at in 2 years!!! I am so pumped! Today, I actually FEEL a difference - my tummy feels flatter and I look slimmer in the mirror. This makes me excited and it makes me want to continue, despite the headache I woke up with today.
I bought a lot of veggies last night, so I look forward to trying another soup recipe today. I'm going to try one with sweet potatoes this time. I'm not really a fan of sweet potatoes, but I'm hoping this will help with the consistency issue. Guess I'll find out...
We had another winter storm hit last night, adding another 6 inches of snow to the 8 or 9 we already had. :\ Needless to say, school was cancelled for the rest of the week and I am working from home today. This will be a true test. So far, the day time has been relatively easy because I'm distracted when I'm at work. Being at home all day near the fridge will be a challenge, especially with Rylie upstairs eating CheezIts as we speak. Sigh... Don't worry, I'm not in the mind set to give up. This just makes it harder - more torture!
Thursday evening: I started feeling really yucky. I was weak, barely had enough strength to get up and walk to the bathroom. If I walked downstairs, I had to sit as soon as I got there. I felt light headed and just incredibly weak. I pretty much stayed in bed the rest of the day/night.
Day 5: Friday, January 8, 2009: I woke up to a raging headache...still. Barely slept the night before because I could not get comfortable. Didn't go to work again. Stayed in bed pretty much all day. Highlight of the day - another 2 pound loss, for a grand total of 11.2 pounds from the first 4 days of detox - wow!
I was in so much misery and pain that I drank some "sleepy time" tea and took some Melatonin (all natural sleep aid) hoping it would knock my ass out and I would wake up feeling better. I even took a "detoxifying bath" with epsom salt, baking soda, and essential oils - lavender, chamomile, and vanilla. This did help my muscles relax a bit. But afterward, I was completely zapped of all energy - could barely walk back to my bedroom. I was finally able to sleep for an hour, but when I woke up I still had the horrid headache. At this point, I did a big "no no," but it was this or quit the detox altogether - I took some Tylenol for my headache. Along with it, I ate 10 baby carrots so it wouldn't tear up my stomach. And for good measure...I threw in a few handfuls of cashews. Yep, guilt. But, about 45 minutes later the headache was gone and I finally felt like I could function somewhat.
Once that was all said and done, I felt a tremendous amount of guilt. Taking a medication is serious stuff when detoxing because it's basically like taking poison. It had the potential of making me really sick. I also felt bad for eating solid food. Granted, it wasn't much. But the salt on the cashews was also pretty "toxic." Oh well, what's done is done. No use beating myself up over it now. But....all I can think of is how this is how I fell off the wagon the last time I detoxed. Around days 4 and 5, I cheated by first just eating raw veggies... and then eating nuts. Then it was all down hill after that...
Day 6: Saturday, January 9, 2009: I woke up this morning headache free! Yay, I'm hoping the healing crisis has passed!!! I'm still feeling weak and tired. And I'm also wanting to kill all fast food places for their appetizing commercials. I'm craving everything under the sun right now!!! I even had dreams last night about all kinds of candy - sprees, m&m's, sixlets, taffy, skittles... I'm so ready to just be done with this! I keep rationalizing how I can quit once I reach a certain point. But at this point, it's no longer about the weight loss or even the detox...okay, maybe a little about the weight loss...but more so how strong I am mentally to do this all the way. I'm definitely struggling.
My weight only dropped .6 pounds since yesterday. I'm sure it's from the salty cashews. Darn it. Also, I got invited to a work lunch meeting for Monday and I'm trying to decide how to side step this but still be able to meet with the guy.
Saturday evening: I came very close to quitting today. I really just wanted to EAT solid food! But I talked to Randy about it and he told me to at least keep going until I run out of my supplements/drink mixes. I have at least another week's worth or so. Then I called my friend who is also doing the detox (and amazingly well, I might add) and she totally talked me through it. I am ending the day feeling stronger, empowered, and ready to battle on for at least a few more days. I can do this.