Good News, Bad News, and Acceptance

Okay, I've been trying to find time to post this, but I just haven't had much of that lately. ....you'd think I would since I'm no longer in training... :\

ANYWAY, I'm going to make this brief, but wanted to at least leave an update cuz I'm might be away for awhile... not that I'm going anywhere, but I'm taking a break from training for obvious reasons, so I won't really have much to report.

First, the good news: over the weekend I had my first open water swim - yay! I went to the lake that my parents have their lake house at and swam almost the entire length of the lake - woot!! I'm estimating it was close to a mile, but I'll be sure to take my Garmin next time we go to be sure. AND it only took about 30 minutes!! Waaaay faster than I anticipated! That was a great experience and it's funny that it happened on a holiday weekend cuz as it turns out, TONS of people saw me doing it, LOL. I posted about it on my facebook page and I've gotten several comments from people that saw me - awesome! ;)

Other news: I transferred my tri to the Nations Triathlon in Washington, DC on September 13. I do have to raise about $1500 more, which I'm slightly nervous about. I will also only be on a 3 month training program as opposed to the current 5 month program I'm on. This also makes me nervous. Yes, I know I have built up a good fitness level to go off of....but I'm about to lose that, and you'll find out why in just a sec... But the other good news is that my mom is going to go with me and that excites me to no end!

The "bad" news: okay, it's not really bad, so don't freak out. But I'm going to be having surgery next Friday, the 5th. I have some "woman issues" that need to be addressed and I have been putting it off until after my tri. Since that is all on hold, now is the time so that I can get back in and train for Nations after I recover from the surgery. The thing that really sucks though is that I will be completely unable to work out AT ALL for at least 4 weeks following the surgery. Not just running, but no biking, no swimming, no weight lifting, NOTHING. This is scary to me, folks! We're talking about losing a lot of ground that it took quite awhile to gain... But in the end, while I'm already injured, I might as well use this time wisely and go ahead and have the surgery I've been needing to have.

So, there ya have it - I've been looking forward to summer for MONTHS now, and now that it's here I'm stuck sitting on my ass instead of outside running and biking. :( I'm completely petrified that I'm going to lose my fitness level and not be able to be back in shape in time for Nations. I'm also scared to death that I'm going to GAIN a ton of weight when I should be losing it. I'm having a lot of mixed emotions right now, but I'm trying to maintain focus on the fact that everything happens for a reason and there is a reason that I won't be doing the tri in 4 weeks.

With all that said, I want to extend a HUUUUUGE THANK YOU to everyone for all the wonderful and supportive comments you have left me throughout all of this!! I appreciate everyone being encouraging on my last post, yet also respecting the fact that I wasn't quite up to hearing how everything will be fine just yet. You guys are all such a great group of people and I'm lucky to have all of you around to remind me that injuries are not the end of the world and that I'm strong enough to bounce back from all of this.

I'm sure I'll be around over the next 6 weeks....just with not much exciting to post about. But you can bet your asses I'll be stoked to post about my first RUN next month!!! To the rest of you out there training, racing, or just rocking out by being yourselves this summer - best of luck to you all!! I will be living vicariously through all of you! :)


Saturday, May 23, 2009: 1 hour weight lifting, 1 mile swim

Tuesday, May 26, 2009: toning, crunches

Wednesday, May27, 2009: abs/crunches

These Are The Breaks

Okay, so you may have noticed (or maybe not) that I've been MIA for over a week. I took some time off from training, mostly so I could wallow in my self pity that's been brewing for some time now. But I can also justify my 7 day hiatus with the fact that last week I had a sinus infection, accompanied by some wretched allergies. It was also "down week" with my work out classes here at work, meaning it was the week off between the 8 week sessions. So, with feeling crappy, having no classes available, and not being able to run while waiting to see the orthopedic surgeon, it all equated in me not working out for a week. After the Mother's Day 5K, I realized I had worked out every day for a week straight and needed a day of rest. Well....that day turned into 7. But I returned to my regimine (sort of) on Monday of this week.

Let me start off by saying that I have not gone 7 days in a row without training/working out in some manner since I was on maternity leave after having Harper and was not yet released by my doctor to work out. Yes, I've taken a few days off for being sick or whatever, but not a full week. That's just not me. But I've been down, stressed, concerned about injury, and, well, just not myself lately.

Last week I finally saw the ortho about my left leg. He took x-rays, which turned out fine, and then we discussed my injury. He said it sounded like your typical text-book description of a stress fracture and referred me to get an MRI (this past Monday). I finally got the results this morning and that dreaded call confirmed what I've been fearing for weeks: I DO, in fact, have a stress fracture in my left fibula.

What does this mean? Well, it means that the olympic tri that I have been training for all year is a no-go. It means a walking cast for the next 6 weeks. It means no running, or even biking, for the next 6 weeks. It means that I ran a half marathon with a stress fracture...and then 3 more races the following 3 weekends in a row, with a stress fracture. It means that everything that I have been working for this year is on hold. And yes, I do realize there will be other races. I realize that I need to take care of myself so that I can heal properly and so I don't re-injure myself. I realize it's not the end of the world and I realize that things could be a lot worse. But for right now, in this very moment, I am devastated. I feel like my dreams just got yanked out from under me. I'm disappointed and upset, and not a whole lot is going to cheer me up right now.

In addition, this means that I will be transferring my event, and the next olympic tri that our local chapter of Team in Training is doing is the Nations Triathlon in DC in September. The one I was supposed to do is in Des Moines in June. Des Moines is just a few hours away. Soooo...this means more fundraising since it will cost a whole lot more to FLY to DC than to drive to Des Moines. I'll have to ship my bike and everything. It means that I won't get to do the Hy-Vee Tri with my team that I have trained with for the past several months. Instead, I'll be doing it with a new team. AND......since it is so far away, I won't have my family there to cheer me on. We can't afford for Randy and the girls to fly to DC for this. My mom, dad, and sister can't afford to either. Even all of Randy's family was going to go to Des Moines to support me. Now, I won't have a single familiar face in the crowd cheering me on.

Everything about this right now sucks. Yes, I know that I will move on. And yes, I know that these things happen. But it doesn't make me feel any better.

In the meantime.....just hitting the pool as much as I can. I need to maintain my fitness level so I can do Nations in September with full force. Oh yeah, this also means that I won't be doing the Redman Half Ironman in September either....

I'm pretty blue. But like I said, these are the breaks. And in this case, literally.

Workout Update (LIFE Update Soon To Follow)

Monday, May 18, 2009: 4 miles on the elliptical

Tuesday, May 19, 2009: muscle conditioning, 14.75 mile bike ride (downtown airport, flat course, heavy wind from the south)

Wednesday, May 20, 2009: 20 min on stair stepper (limited time that day)

Thursday, May 21, 2009: muscle conditioning, 1200 m swim/aqua jog

My Blog is SUPER!

One of my favorite bloggie pals, Dancing Sweet Pea, gave me an award!!! And in my busy absence from the blogsphere lately, I completely missed it until yesterday (sorry again!!)!! I am truly honored to be recognized and cannot even begin to say how much this made my day! Especially after having a downer week last week, and now having a yucky sinus infection that I'm battling in addition, it totally brightened my day to pop over to her blog and read the kind words she had written about me! And not only that, but she throws sweet words of encouragement my way ALL THE TIME! This chica has been a great source of support & encouragement and I always look forward to her comments. She is such a sweet girl and I know that if she lived closer, we would totally hang out! Oh - and you have to go to her blog and check out her cake-making skills! She seriously needs to quit her day job and open up a bakery! WOW!!

So now, the rules are: tape the award on your blog somewhere and pass it along to 5 fellow super bloggers. Then comment on their blog to let them know how lucky they are today! When you present your Super Blogger awards, link back to the Super Blogger who gave it to you :)

This really is tough to narrow it down to just 5 people, cuz all of you out there are pretty freakin awesome - always giving me great advice & encouragement. So, I wish I could give this award to everyone....but since I can't, here are my 5:

1) Fair Weather Runner, the Self-Proclaimed Running DORK - this girl and I have so much in common, right down to our injuries, that it's straight up SCARY! We have almost the same last name and we were even born just 1 day apart, which might actually explain our "pisces-ian" similarities. She constantly keeps me laughing, smiling, intrigued, perplexed, mortified, and mostly just cracking up. There's no doubt we will meet in person one day, since we're only about 3 hours apart and surely we'll run a race together (and I use "together" loosely as she will totally leave me in the dust!).

2) Kristen the Running Lawyer is from the same home town as me....and funnily (is that even a word??) enough, we were following each other's blogs for MONTHS before we came to this discovery! Pretty crazy, considering our home town is pretty stinkin tiny. I mean, hello - we went to the same high school at the same time! Crazy! This lady has accomplished all kinds of goals this year, including her first half marathon, her first full marathon, and most recently a 10K PR! Talk about inspiring!

3) Super Dave is a really awesome guy. We "met" on justfinish.com. We then started following each other's blogs, and are now friends on Face Book. He even earned extra "awesome points" by donating to the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society through my fundraising website, which helps the world get one step closer to finding a cure for blood cancers, and helps me get one step closer to my triathlon. (If you, too, would like to earn "awesome points," you can do so by clicking here.) ;)
4) Stacy is my favorite tri buddy! She has definitely been a go-to girl for me. She always has great advice and knows just what to say to get me focused. She is constantly on the go and a true inspiration to me. Her training schedule is very similar to mine, so it's fun to compare notes (and stats). ;) Her blog definitely keeps me motivated!

5) This last one is tough, cuz there are soooo many people worthy of this award. But I'm giving it to someone who truly deserves an award (and some cheer in general) right now: Melanie, another fellow justfinish.comer. I have to give a shout out to a fellow mom, and not just any mom either. This gal has been through a LOT, including seizures, BRAIN SURGERY, and recently some running injuries. She is one hell of a fighter and a true inspiration! Through it all, she just keeps pushing through, and I'm proud of her and honored to be her bloggie friend!

Okay friends, there ya have it - SUPER BLOGGERS UNITE! :)

I'm Baaaaaack....

It's been a few days (5 to be exact) since my last post. Soooo, I have a lot to catch up on including updates from the last blog post, updates on my workouts, and even a race report. Since that's a lot of stuff, I'll try to make it as brief as possible.

First things first. I'm seeing an orthopedist on Thursday about the issues I've had with my left leg. I'll post more on that when I find out what the deal is. I'm also seeing an endocrinologist next week about my thyroid. I had an ultrasound done on it Friday and it turns out that it is larger than normal (thyroiditis), which could be causing the low functioning of my thyroid. I'll find out more next week. But....I guess it's good to finally be getting some answers.

K, now here are my workout for the past several days, and I'll discuss them in more detail in a few:

Thursday, May 7, 2009: Muscle Conditioning

Friday, May 8, 2009: 4 miles on elliptical

Saturday, May 9, 2009: 1/4 mile swim, 10 mile bike, 3 mile run

Sunday, May 10, 2009: 3.1 mile run

Okay, my muscle conditioning class kicked my butt on Thursday. I could barely walk on Friday. Friday I decided to do the elliptical after my disasterous run on Wednesday, knowing I had tri practice coming up Saturday morning and didn't want to injure the leg any more. Saturday I had tri practice. I did really well on my swim, despite the fact that we were in an overly-heated pool. The bike was okay. I was a little behind everyone else, but it was a rough ride into the wind on the last leg. The run.....sucked. I was in agonzing pain and I doubt I even ran 3/4 of a mile. I pretty much walked the whole thing. It was sooooo frustrating and I was in tears at the end. I felt disappointed and like a huge failure.

After practice, I went home and took an ice bath and relaxed the rest of the day. I knew I had the Mothers Day 5K the following day and really wanted to do it with Rylie. Well, Sunday rolled around and amazingly, my leg felt fine. If Saturday was a 9 on the pain scale, Sunday was about a 1.5. We started off the race at a really good pace and I was so excited to finally be having a good run. I honestly don't think I've felt this good since the first 5 miles of my half marathon. It was a great feeling! The only thing holding me back was the fact that I was running it with my 6-year-old daughter.

Let me tell you something about running a race with a small child: it's hard....and unpredictable. The last time we ran a race, Rylie bolted out in the beginning and I couldn't keep up with her. Then she ran out of gas at the end and I had to drag her along. This time, we were only about a 1/2 mile in and she was tired and wanting to walk. I slowed my pace waaaaay down for her, but didn't want to walk because as soon as I stop running, the pain kicks in. I finally ended up walking with her a couple times. I felt bad cuz let's face it, she is only 6. But at the same time, I was feeling so good and wanted to keep my pace going. In the end, we finished with a time of 36:53. Not bad for those little legs of hers. And of course I'm proud of her for doing it! I just wish I could have kept the great pace I had going in the beginning. But...this race wasn't about ME, it was about US. So, I leave you with these great photos from the Mothers Day 5K:

Me & my little running buddy, Rylie - pre-race.

Ry & me with our matching sunglasses, cuz that's how we roll. LOL, she's such a diva!

At home before the race.

Waving to Dad.

Me giving the "thumbs up" like the uber dork that I am.

The best part of the race was at the very end when we ran as hard as we could. Randy didn't get any pics of this, so I hope the official race photographer did cuz we were hauling @$$! :) I'm sure it was a site to see....cuz I totally felt like Phoebe in Friends, just flailing away, LOL!

Oh yeah, and when we got home, I got the Mother's Day gift I was hoping for - a Garmin Forerunner!! Woot!!! I was so excited about it, I *almost* went out for another run! :)

Debbie Downer Time....

So, back to this "calf" issue I've had in the left leg for the past month. Well....it's not just the calf. It's the entire lower extremety of my left leg, and I'm beginning to think it's tendon or bone. I saw my family physician last week, who ran some labs for various things. He went ahead and ordered a lab that indicates something along the lines of muscles tissue and how it breaks down or something like that, which came back normal. He said the next step would be to get an MRI to see if it is possibly a stress fracture, but first he wants me to see an orthopedist. I'm praying it's not a stress fracture. The triathlon that I've spent the last 4 months training for is just 7 weeks away. If anything prevents me from doing it, I will be absolutely devastated.

I've been really down in the dumps for various reasons the past few days. A lot of crap has been going on at work, and I'll spare you the details...but let's just say I am stressed and unhappy. I know I should be grateful to even have a job right now, and I am. I just don't deal well with change and I have a lot on my plate right now.

Secondly, I'm very unhappy about my weight. And not your typical "I'm a girl, so I think I'm fat" kind of unhappy. But the kind of unhappy because I am currently at an all-time high (other than when I was pregnant, of course), which is 20 pounds over my normal weight. I had Harper in August, dropped 40 pounds over the next 8 weeks and have been stagnant ever since. I cannot get rid of these last 20 pounds for the life of me. I lost all my baby weight after I had Rylie and I wasn't nearly as active then as I am now. How is it that I am working out 5 days a week, sometimes twice a day, and sometimes for 2 - 3 hours, yet I'm 20 pounds over my normal weight??? How is it that I am doing all this, yet I have not dropped a single pound?? How is it that Memorial Day weekend is just 2 weeks away and there is NO WAY IN HELL that I want to even THINK about wearing a bathing suit, yet my parents have a lake house...so it's inevitable. I love going to the lake in the summer....but right now, I could care less about taking my fat ass anywhere that involves people seeing me half naked. It's so depressing. I saw my doctor about it last week and he ran labs on my thyroid. I'm having an ultrasound on it tomorrow. But I have a feeling the news is going to be "Your thyroid is fine, you're just a fatty." :(

And to top it all off, if I DO have a stress fracture, that will eliminate a lot of what I can do (running, and probably cycling as well), which means I'll probably just GAIN weight.... The weather is FINALLY nice out, and if I can't run, I will be crushed. Absolutely devastated. I have been so excited about good running weather and summer....and now I'm just annoyed. My girlfriend and I had made plans to start running during our lunch breaks on MWF. (Side note, my yoga class is no longer being offered because the instructor moved, which already has me bummed out....but I thought running on those days would help ease the blow.) Well, we went for a 3 mile run yesterday and 2.5 into it, I couldn't run....I could barely even walk. The left leg was in agonizing pain. So much pain, that it hurt just sitting at my desk the rest of the day. It hurt in the middle of the night and I couldn't sleep. And now I feel like my plans of running are now ruined. I have practice on Saturday (swim 1/4 mile, bike 10 miles, run 3 miles) and the Mothers' Day 5k is on Sunday and I'm afraid I won't be able to do either. I'm upset. I'm in pain. I'm annoyed. I'm grumpy.

Anyway, enough of all of that. Looks like I'll just being doing a lot of swimming for awhile, which we all know how much I LOVE! *sarcasm*

Tuesday, May 5, 2009: muscle conditioning

Wednesday, May 6, 2009: 3 mile run, 6.75 mile bike

Sorry to be a downer, folks. I just had to let that out. I'm also sorry I haven't been keeping up on everyone's blogs. Work is really cracking down on internet time and I really need to keep my job, regardless of how much I love (or don't love) it right now. I'll try to catch up this weekend.

Forced Myself to the Pool Again

...and I'm glad that I did.

I was soooo tired yesterday. I even took a nap after work, which I NEVER do. But I think the weekend was finally catching up with me. Traveling, plus less than 8 hours of sleep a night, plus having not slept past 5am in 3 weeks = veeeery tired me. Anyway, I was so not in the mood to go to the pool last night, but I forced myself to go....and went ahead and busted out 1500 meters! That's pretty much a record for me. And just for the record, that's the distance that my swim will be in my tri....so I'm feeling pretty good about it. It wasn't the fastest 1500m. It took a good 40 minutes. But hey, I did it.

Today is our Cinqo de Mayo Fiesta at work. I love food....but a day of binge eating is not really what I need right now. *Sigh*

Hope everyone is having a great week!! Oh, and sorry....I really need to catch up on everyone's blogs...just haven't had the time! :( Sorry, but I'll get out there and comment away as soon as I can!

Monday, May 4, 2009: yoga, 1500m swim

John Blaufuss 5K

The family and I ventured back to my home town of Emporia, KS this weekend. Saturday was the John Blaufuss 5K and the race benefits scholarships to ESU. Being a graduate of ESU and being a scholarship recipient, I felt this race was fitting...and since the race is what my mother used to lure me home for the weekend, I went ahead and registered for it several weeks ago.

The original plan was for my best friend to run it with me. She's never ran a race in her life. In fact, she's never even ran in her life, unless being chased by a large dog or to escape a burning building. But I casually brought up the race thinking it would be something fun for us to do together, and surprisingly she agreed to do it. I sent her a "couch to 5k" program to prepare for the race and I was truly impressed with her commitment. She's been getting out and running and working so hard. I've been so proud of her. But unfortunately, she ended up hurting her knee pretty badly. Bad enough that she now needs cortisone and can no longer run on it...at least for now. :(

So, at the last minute, we had an extra race bib and no one to run the race. But fear not - my 6-year-old Rylie boldly stepped up to the plate! That's right, yesterday my little Rylie ran her first race - a 5k!

Here's a pic of me & Ry before the race.

Here we are at the starting line. Doesn't she look cute with her little race bib on?! :)

Here we are during the first mile. She ran non-stop for almost the first 2 miles!

Here we are during the last mile. Can you tell she was getting tired? The last mile was a struggle, with mostly walking. But she toughed it out and finished anyway!!


Here we are at the end! By the way, the fat baby to the left of the photo is my little nugget, Harper. ;)

Rylie was pretty pooped at the end of the race.....but that didn't last long. Her Papa took her to buy a new bike (to keep at Mimi & Papa's house) shortly after the race and she proceeded to ride her bike all afternoon! Ah, to be a kid again.

After we got home from the race, I went out and ran another 3 miles so I could get my scheduled 6 miles in. My knees were hurting after the run, but during the run I actually felt pretty good. Hopefully this continues.

Saturday, May 2, 2009: 6 mile run

April Totals

First, let me say that my totals for this month are pretty skewed: HEAVY on the running, super low on swimming, average on biking. With my HM training, running got more attention than swimming and cyling, but hopefully it will be more even in May. Anyway, here they are:

Cycling: 6 days, 65.05 miles
Swimming: 3 days, 2600m
Running: 9 days, 49.5 miles
Weight Training: 6 days
Yoga: 6 days
(I also had a day on the elliptical and 2 days of walking, but I'm not counting those miles anywhere)
Total days of Cardio: 16
Total days of Working Out: 19

And now, the Year-to-Date Totals:

Cycling: 16 days, 168.15 miles
Swimming: 11 days, 8900m
Running: 30 days, 114.9 miles
Weight Training: 27 days
Yoga: 22 days
Total days of Cardio: 58
Total days of Working Out: 77

Yesterday's Workout

Yesterday was a pretty good day, despite some set backs (timing issues, etc). I made it to the pool again (in case you're not keeping track, that was day THREE in a row that I made it there....except I forgot my towel on Tuesday, so only 2 days of actually swimming....but that's quite an accomplishment for me). I pounded out a 600m swim (only had 400m on the schedule, so I pushed a bit harder) and then took the bike out for an 8.5 mile ride. Not to mention that I had muscle conditioning yesterday too. So....I feel good with that.

Thursday, April 30, 2009: muscle conditioning, 600m swim, 8.5 mile bike

By the way, my work is cracking down on internet usage....so I'll be blogging/reading/commenting less now. :( Sucks...but I need to keep my job.

I'll be posting my monthly and YTD stats shortly.